BRETT LEE IS NOT INJURED - you heard it here first.

During my nightly chat with Lord NMH last night, we began talking about the extraordinary list of injuries the Australian team has recently been hit by, and he hit me with a little news flash ...

Apparently, Brett Lee is not injured but is, in fact, hiding out in fear that news of his relationship with Tim Paine will leak to the press. The two have been seeing each other quietly for some time, but Tim broke their secrecy pact by blatantly fondling Lee during a wicket celebration in Sunday's ODI against India:

Cricket Australia has demanded an immediate explanation from Indian Cricket and some clarification of the so-called "sex dossier", which is believed to have encouraged the pair to take their "friendship" to the next level.

Peter Siddle, as is clear in this photo, is quite disgusted by the whole affair, but Nathan believes this is only because Siddle had attempted a relationship with Lee himself and was rebutted with extreme prejudice (well, he does have a face only a mother could love).

Lee will sit out the next match, the press having been given a thin cover story about his elbow strain, because it is feared Tim Paine will be unable to keep his hands to himself should Lee take wickets and a celebration ensue. Paine will continue to play but only because our other wicket keepers are either injured or rubbish (or Victorian).

It is believed the pair will be admonished by Tim Nielsen after tomorrow's match, but whether Lee will be allowed to play again this series is uncertain.

In a minor sidenote, Nathan asked me to remind you all that he is invincible.