The first of these calendars was the 2009 one, which featured semi-naked and very sexy players; 2010's edition has just recently ben released and shows an array of moobs and pot bellies (and Whinging Mitchy trying to look hard on a motorbike)(no one is fooled).
Plans for the 2011 calendar are already underway. The theme was supposed to be kept under wraps until September 2010, but since Graeme Swann was unable to keep his fat trap shut the McGrath Foundation has given me exclusive rights to reveal the first draft of its content. It is slightly different in that it was felt some "models" were extremely qualified and so were shown on more than one month. And here it is:
The Gits of Cricket Calendar 2011
January:
Andrew Strauss doing his "how on earth did we manage to fluke the Ashes?" face.
February:Flintoff apparently insisted on this pose, despite protestations from all present. The photographer is now blind and is suing Fred for loss of earnings.
March:Graeme Swann was asked to imitate his hero for this shot. Obviously, he went for Nathan Hauritz
April:Mitchell Johnson was asked to pretend he was watching Shane Watson bowling for this shot.
May:Rudi Koertzen in his classic "I can't umpire for crap" pose. There's a reason it's a classic.
June:Ryan Sidebottom doing his "tramp recently pulled out of dumpster" look.
July:Imagine Brett Lee just bowled yet another "no-ball" Rick ... there it is, perfect shot!
August:You have a high IQ, don't you, Graeme? Let's show people just how high by advertising your favourite reading material.
September:Andrew Strauss - to help him get in the mood, the photographer said "imagine Nathan hauritz just bowled you again." It worked a treat.
October:
Dhoni was asked to come dressed as Mitchell Johnson, but he thought they said Don Johnson ... check out the Miami Vice stylings!
November:
The phote for this month has not yet been taken, but will show Andrew Hilditch being attacked by a rabid monkey on a leash.
December
Also not yet taken, but will be another shot of Graeme Swann - this time being choked by Brett Lee with a guitar string.
Available in stores from September 2010 - pre-order yours now at www.andrewstraussisawanker.com
8 thoughts on this post:
Loved Jan and cannot wait for November!
Can I get 11 copies please? When I form my own cricket team I will use it as an example of what NOT to become.
*The first of these calendars was the 2009 one, which featured SEMI-NAKED and very sexy players*
semi naked?? and that too from the Aussie, English and Indian sides??
Ugh!! am so glad I didnt see it. seriously!
oh and didnt you know that players from the above mentioned teams are prohibited from being "sexy" ?? well they are!
OK, the first calendar was sexy - definitely sexy. They may not have had the paunch of Graeme Smith or the baby face of Jacques Rudolph (or the ginger hair and freckles of Hersch) but they were pretty damn sexy.
Got nothin' on my Nathan's moobs and pigeon chest look, of course ...
Sorry for commenting only now, my eyesight was gone for a while after I saw the Flintoff atrocity *shudders*.
Mitch is happily sniffing his fingers, like he always does before a delivery. Someone should ask him why. It is yucky.
The pondering Strauss is actually quite nice... shoot me but I started to like him in the last months. It is weird, I used to call him Andrew Strarse, but there is something likeable about him. For instance not allowing Graeme Smith a runner. If you look closely, you can see the flames of evil behind his eyes. I want to see more of this evil Strauss, unless, of course, it is vs. Oz. On the other hand he denied us the fun of seeing Smith getting out due to some first class runner chaos. This is a new level of evilness, I need to think about it more before jumping to conclusions.
I have a little collection of Strauss pics like the second one you posted. Whenever you are down it lifts you up heaps to look at one of them. Straussy is useful for many purposes.
Binn trying to perform a NMH impression is heresy. A couple of centuries ago they would have made a nice little fire under his binnbutt.
Rudi "blind mole in the sun" Koertzen still owes us 5 wickets, about three of which he denied NMH. Rudi if you read this: wrap them well and send them to India. Pronto.
A couple of centuries ago? I lit a nice little fire under Swanney's butt last week ...
Do you like my new picture of him with the tash and the black teeth? Suits him, huh?
Yeah that was a nice fire indeed. It smelled like someone was grilling rotten scallops oO
The only Binn better than a black mo Binn is an invisible Binn. Are you going to follow the England tour of SA? Would be nice to read some posts...
I should be able to keep track of that easier than W.I. in Australia, since I live in the UK and the BBC only reports on Australian cricket when we lose :-) It's just a time factor ... chances are I'll probably mention some matches and not others, but I shall do my best.
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