Never trust a Saffer, I say

They just keep on letting me down. All I want is for England to lose everything - is that so much to ask?

I guess it is when England have Collngwood, the man for all seasons (who, despite being ginger and English, I inexplicably adore), and the Saffers can't bowl to save themselves.

Can you get your legs as wide as me, Andy? Huh? Who's the real captain around here?

With a few exceptions, the Saffers batting wasn't fantastic (is anyone else waiting for Boucher to appear on Page 2's "doppelgangers" feature next to Robin Williams?) and I was suprised they made it past 210. They made 250 in the end, which is a competitive total, but when you have only 2 decent bowlers your batsmen need to pile up more than that to get anywhere near a win (for reference see Australia in most of the India v Australia matches in the recent ODI series).

England chased it down with no problem and only lost 3 wickets on the way.

Goddammit.

England bowled well (except Rashid); were exceptional in the field most of the time and the batting ... well, Collingwood (MOTM with 2 wickets for 24 and 105 n.o.) is all you really need to know.

My only highlight was seeing Little Andy drop catches - one of them a dead cert, but I think he was deliberately trying to deny Saji the wicket and dropped it on purpose. I think it's time a got a group of Aussies and Durham dwellers together to rub out Strauss and demand Collers be ODI captain again.

And speaking of captains, I see Mascara Man is still in disgrace for being shite in the T20 the other week.

All is not well.