I know some of you are probably concerned for my wellbeing after the revelation that Shane Warne's all-star exhibition T20 side will have the "K" word on it rather than Good King Nate the Invincible.
I was initially upset, naturally, but after staking out Warney's house for three days, making obscene phone calls (consisting of a husky voice and references to baby oil, which may have been counterproductive to be honest) and throwing live turtles into his backyard (he has a deadly phobia of turtles, didn't you know?) the great man finally agreed to talk to me.
You can sleep easily, Warney has not turned traitor on me. It turns out that My Lord NMH arrived back in Sydney from Mumbai a week or so ago, dropped into his bed and hasn't moved since. Warney wanted him on his side but as no one could wake Ritzy up, he was stuck with the "K" word.
Warney assures me he knocked over and over again on NMH's front door, rang his phone almost continuously and even walked up and down the streets of Zetland with 7 loudly barking alsations in the wee small hours in the hope that this would get the man moving, but to no avail.
So it seems that Warney and I are mates again, but we are worried that Good King Nate won't be awake by next Thursday ... will be nice to see him bowl on his home turf again. It might fall to me to throw a small bomb through his window and see if that does the trick.
Don't worry, I'll make sure Hilditch gets the blame for it. Warney has samples of his fingerprints and some stray hairs to plant.
6 thoughts on this post:
Lies. All Lies. He hides them behind his evil grin. Look at this:
The KFC sponsored Australian squad is:
Michael Clarke (c): NSW - 28
Cameron White (vc): VIC - 26
George Bailey: TAS - 27
Brad Haddin: NSW - 32
David Hussey: VIC - 32
Andrew McDonald: VIC - 28
Clint McKay : VIC - 26
Peter Siddle: VIC - 24
Steven Smith: NSW - 20
Shaun Tait: SA - 26
Adam Voges: WA - 30
David Warner: NSW - 23
The JOHNNIE WALKER ACA All*Star Team is:
Shane Warne (c): VIC - 40
Travis Birt: TAS - 27
Lee Carseldine: QLD - 34
Adam Gilchrist: WA - 38
Daniel Harris: SA - 29
Matthew Hayden: QLD - 38
Jason Krejza: TAS - 26
Rhett Lockyear: TAS - 26
Graham Manou: SA - 30
Glenn McGrath: NSW - 39
Nathan Reardon: QLD - 25
Nathan Rimmington: QLD - 27
Do you see the sulphur cloud around the Allstars? My mate didn't see it. I explained him:
Warne = the undisputed Evil. But just like Dr. Faust's Mephisto he is the evil of recreation so yeah, two-sided sword, but his basic trade is evil. He is the captain. Gilchrist is Satan's grandma, we needn't debate that. Do you also realise that Cherub Justin isn't included? Just saying. Then we have the K. Needn't discuss that either. The two anti-Nathans. This is plain scandalous. Furthermore it features Graham "The Grin From The Abyss" Manou and Daniel Harris. Both from SA. Get it? SA. Like SAtan. (Which means that there is a T(r)ait(or) in the Good Team.) Plus three guys from TAS. TAS like SATan. They have a spy among the good guys as well.
I have seen enough. If one of the groundsmen was wise and sprinkled holy water on the pitch you should see their feet start smouldering.
They are asking for trouble with 3 Tasmanians, but you know my theory on that. And what is it with QLD producing cricketers called Nathan? Do they give them all to NSW eventually?
I have to stand up defend Mr Gilchrist, though. Although not a natural born West Aussie, he did play for us for most of his nonetheless and was our captain for quite some time. I will not allow you to call him evil.
Shane Warne I will accept, but just this once.
I'm wearing my rose tinted glasses and working on the theory that a)they had limited choice in their teams and b)they were asked not to use players that have been over worked in previous months and who have been picked for the upcoming test series against W.I.
And I am wearing my silly wooden glasses and saying, the devil is a tempter for he is right. Always. Damn you Warnie.
Warne is being right again
Also he has almost always fought for NMH and now he also recommends Smithy, who, btw, did not only take three wickets again but among those was the one of the K-Demon.
--> Told you so :P
And there is more proof! oO
The hellish shapeshifters are walking among us! Obviously Graham Manou has assumed the shape of Lord Marcus... ahhhhhhhhhhh how far will they go???
Don't say I hadn't *warne*d you!
Damn those overeager little elves!
This
... and breathe!
Wes, sweetie, haven't we talked about you over indulging in coffee? You gonna try a little decaf from time to time, yes?
Really nice photo, though.
And of course the Warnester is right - he always is.
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