Gideon Haigh on the Art of Waugh

This is an old article, written by Haigh in 2001 for the Guardian between the third test at Trent Bridge (where Australia had yet again won the Ashes) and the fourth test at Headingley (where England won, but it didn't matter so much).

It talks about a team at the top of their game, indeed at the top of the world (the cricket world at least); they were extremely confident in their ability and in their experience and were united beneath a fantastic captain (God knows, I still worship the man).

I think it is a good article to remind Australians, in this difficult time, that we are currently in a rebuilding phase, but if we have faith and patience (and the strength to smack the occasional obnoxious English cricket "fan") we can get to this point again:
Link


And who would dare argue with Gideon? He was brought up in Geelong and is probably a Cats supporter (carn the mighty Cats!!)

Hauritz vs. Cricket Australia ... let's go!

They just keep coming!
Cox: it's all my fault


Surely it's time to give Hauritz a rabid monkey on a leash and just lock him in a room with Cox, Hilditch and Ponting??

People, I implore you!

Apologies to Chris W

Chris W, who made a comment on my post below
Link

and any other true England cricket supporters, has my most heartfelt apologies.

You see, I went to work today and saw my one colleague/friend who is as into cricket as I am. He is an Englishman of Indian descent and supports England. Today was the first time I have seen him the "the loss".

Do you know what he did when he saw me? Did he say "hahaha, you lost" (as many others have)? Did he say "Australia are a sh*t cricket team" (also as many others have)? No he did not ... he shook my hand and said bad luck.

So, it is not to do with being British or Australia. I was completely wrong about that and stand heavily corrected. It is about being a true cricket lover and a true sportsman.

Apparently I don't know very many of them.

Shame.

We're not sacking him, we're not ... honest ...

Andrew Hilditch may be gently nudged out of his role as Chairman of Selectors, but Cricket Australia assures us that if it happens it is not, NOT because of the mistakes made during the Ashes series ...

I don't know about other Aussie fans, but I'd like to quietly think that that is a load of shite. It just suits me better that way.

Hilditch's future with CA uncertain

... and Andrew Hilditch concedes!

I stand corrected, Mr Warne ... they are listening! And not before time.

Everybody misread the wicket

Warne Slams Spinner Omission

You can say it all you want, Warney, I am still the only one listening - oh, and Marcus North. He noticed.
Shane Warne on Sky Sports

I knew not cleaning up at Cardiff would come back to haunt us!

Well, it's over and done people. We lost. Congratulations to England, we were well and truly outplayed at Lords and at the Oval. We should have closed the deal at Cardiff, but couldn't.

We'll be back in 18 months.

I hope.

I'm not a sore loser. I say I am, but really I'm not. Australia didn't play well and, thus, didn't deserve to win. Actually, I think the two teams were as poor as each other most of the time and it could have gone either way. England were the better team at the Oval and at Lords and that won them the series.

I live in the UK and what annoys me is the locals who feign interest in cricket as soon as the going is good. I'm all up for a little banter with true fans, but the johnny come latelys can actually be quite nasty. “Sing when you're winning” was my favourite line in 2005.

Within 20 minutes of England winning today, I had had 3 text messages from people who had never had an interest in cricket jeering at me over Australia's loss. One of them had even made fun of me for writing a cricket blog, several weeks ago, and had taunted me for only ever talking about cricket on facebook!

My cricket fan friends will also have a go, but it is usually less nasty although still a bit obnoxious. I will never get an “Australia played well” or “you can be proud of that fight back but you were always up against it”. Why not?

I'm sick of England supporters telling me Australia is shit at cricket. My autistic son and his autistic mate call each other “retard”, but if anyone else does it they'll get a punch; A black guy can call another black guy “nigger”, but a white person can't. By the same token, I can say Australia are shit at cricket because I am an Australian. How dare anyone who isn't Australian say it.

This all makes me quite angry and then I get accused of being a sore loser. How is that, exactly?

I am Australian and we don't like losing at sport; we really don't like losing at cricket and we especially don't like losing the cricket to the Old Enemy (or the Kiwis, but that's a whole other post!). But I can give credit where credit is due.

I am not a sore loser.

Why must the Brits be such bad winners?

We miss Hauritz!

Aussies all but admit the selectors cocked up by leaving Nathan Hauritz out of the Oval test.

And so they should ...

  Cricket Australia latest news

Champion's Trophy Squad Announced

Cricket Australia has announced the 15 man squad for the ICC Champions Trophy in South Africa in September and October this year. The team is as follows:

Ricky Ponting (captain)
Michael Clarke (vice-captain)
Nathan Bracken
Callum Ferguson
Brad Haddin
Nathan Hauritz
Ben Hilfenhaus
James Hopes
Michael Hussey
Mitchell Johnson
Brett Lee
Peter Siddle
Adam Voges
Shane Watson
Cameron White

Note the absence of Simon Katich.

Australia's fixtures for the competition look like this:

Saturday 26 September: Australia v West Indies (The Wanderers)
Monday 28 September: Australia v India (Centurion)
Wednesday 30 September: Australia v Pakistan (Centurion)

Semi Finals:
Friday 2 October: 1st Semi Final – 1st Group A v 2nd Group B (Centurion)
Saturday 3 October: 2nd Semi Final – 1st Group B v 2nd Group A (The Wanderers)

Final:
Monday 5 October: Final (Centurion)

... and then everything was bad!

The day started so well - we got rid of England's tail end easily

Their total was ok but not awesome

Our batsmen looked good to begin with, even Katich (which makes a nice change)

There was a bit of rain but all was okay ...

And then my world fell apart; then everything went to shite; people were mocking; they were cruel today, I tell you ... they were asking me to make good on my threat to move back to Australia if England win the Ashes again ...

I took advantage of a quiet period at work to research rain dances ... all will yet be well ...

... sob ...

Jrod on "The Hope and the Freddie"

Jrod from Cricket with Balls on Andrew Flintoff at the Oval yesterday. Hope this is ok Jrod, it really is the funniest thing I've read so far today :-)

 CWB

The great bookie mystery ...

How dare some commmon-arse bookie think one of the Aussie team would deliberately throw a match ... oh wait ... erm ...?

Ok, ok ... so it's happened before, but fortunately this time whoever it was would have none of it. Question is, who was approached? Here are my thoughts on potential responses from some of the cricketers on being asked to throw a match for Australia:

Nathan Hauritz – I don’t even know if I’ll be playing the next match

Brett Lee – I don’t even know if I’ll be playing the next mtch

Stuart Clark – I don’t even know if I’ll be playing the next match

Peter Siddle – I don’t even know if I’ll be paying the next match

Mitchell Johnson – my Mummy might yell at me if I do that

Shane Watson – Brett Lee might yell at me if I do that

Ben Hilfenhaus – what’s a bookie?

Ricky Ponting – are you fucking crazy, man? I’m trying not to get sacked next month as it is

Michael Clarke – I want to be captain when Ponting gets sacked next month, why would I do that?

Marcus North – I want to be vice captain when Ponting gets sacked next month, why would I do that?

Mike Hussey – I’m desperate to get back in the side, why would I ruin my career like that?

Simon Katich – I’m playing shit anyway, so I may as well make some money out of it …

Ah hah! Case closed ... or not ... actually, I doubt it would be Katich. Partly because he may respond as above and, of course, we know the player in question didn't accept the offer; but also it would surely have to be someone who has the power to swing the match, and that definitely ain’t the Kat at the moment.

Sorry, Simon. Hope you never read this.

Thanks for all those free tickets ... :-)

Who the hell does Jonathan Trott think he is?

Trott, who has been called up to bat at #4 for England in the final Ashes test at the Oval, says he is ready for a barrage of sledging from the Australians. He seems to think he is so good that our side will target him.

It's true that the Australians tend to focus the sledging on a rookie batsman but Trott - who is slightly better than an ordinary batsman at best and who has clearly been called in because the England selectors are out of ideas – would hardly be worth the effort. Punter's lads aren't likely to waste their energy, but at the moment I dislike Jonny T so much that I am quite prepared to pass Oval ground staff a huge back-hander so I can go in and bloody sledge him myself.

Hauritz's hero drafted in to prepare him for the Oval

Does this mean Hauritz will be getting that final spot at the Oval? Let's hope so!


Link

Even the seagulls love Liam Plunkett

Or so it seems as they sent in one of their own to protest his wicket at Canterbury yesterday.

Just as Plunkett was clean bowled by Brett Lee, in the Australian tour match against the England Lions, a seagull swooped down and stole a dislodged bail. Lee, and several other Aussie fielders, gave chase (which in itself would have been good for a laugh) but the bird was too fast and the umpires had to send for a new bail.

Brilliant Aussie scientist, Simon Katich, has come up with the theory that the seagull thought the bail was a chip. Personally, I think the gulls are all on the ECB payroll … I’m not paranoid … really …

Hauritz better for the Run

Here's hoping Hauritz gets the nod at the Oval, after a good performance at Canterbury yesterday.


Link

James Kirtley kicks arse!

If you didn't catch the T20 final at Edgbaston last night, between Sussex and Somerset, you missed a doosy and no mistake about it. Sussex were on fire! Their batting, their fielding and their bowling were so good that Trescothick and the Legendary Justin Langer just didn't stand a chance. Their side was totally outplayed.

Although he wasn't man of the match (that has to have been a tough choice - the wgole team was great) my favourite was one James Kirtley, who bowled 2 overs and took 3 wickets for a massive 9 runs! What a great performance.

I'm a Lancashire supporter, but damn I like good cricket and that's what we got from Sussex last night.

Translated into Aussie "decider" means "Australia retains the Ashes"

Get your Marcus North masks out!

Kiki & Sassy's latest blog:

Link

ENGLAND HAVE NO CHANCE OF WINNING THE ASHES

God love ya, Thommo!

Can someone hand Mitchy a tissue, please?

Poor, hard done by Mitchell Johnson has said that he performed badly in the early part of the Ashes series because of the "enormous scrutiny" he was put under by the English public. What the hell did he think was going to happen on an Ashes tour? I suppose it is (marginally) preferable to the previous "my mummy is being mean to my girlfriend" excuse.

And, may I point out, that Hauritz was scrutinized and criticized more than anyone else on the team. His own countrymen protested his inclusion in the side, yet he has performed damn well.

I beg you, Mr Ponting and Mr Hilditch, drop him for the Oval test. I don't care how well he's bowling now, he is a big girl and it's just plain embarrassing.

Sports Psychologist Required - Apply Within

I was a bit worried for a couple of weeks there, England actually looked better than usual at cricket and we looked ... well, love 'em as you will, this team ain't quite the one that toured 8 years ago, now, is it?

And then Lords happened. England won a test and they did what England cricket teams always do - they got so excited that they're playing well that they, um ... forgot to play well. The psychology is shot: We're winning, we're winning! Shit, now what do we do ...? It's like England are so unused to winning at cricket that they genuinely don't know how to handle it.

Sports Psychologist Required
Must be in post and at the Oval by next Wednesday
to apply email: andy_flower@englandasheslosers.co.uk (Ex-Australian captains with the surname Waugh preferred)

Edgbaston started well, but all it took was the heroics of two batsmen and England have dropped into the psychological toilet. Didn't it just show in the England batting at Headingley? They were so bad, they made walking-abortion-Siddle look like a good bowler for heaven's sakes!!

So now, in the post-Headingley world, it's all "let's call up this old fart" "let's get rid of his zimmer frame and make him bat". What's really funny is that Australia actually only have the upper hand by a toenail. We haven't won, it's not in the bag for us Aussies (yet) - all we've done is even up the series.

It's all panic stations and I love it: this is the shite England I've been laughing at for 20 years. This is the Ashes as I know it. The world makes sense again.

It's Official - he's back!

The man we've all be waiting to see this summer will definitely play in the tour match tomorrow at Canterbury. If he does well, I fear for Hauritz's spot at the Oval. As long as we win the Ashes I will be happy (yes, I will!).

What planet is Hilditch on?

Stuart Clark has apparently been warned that he may not play in the final test at the Oval and I have but one question - why the hell not? He should've replaced Johnson the pie chucker at Edgbaston, in my opinion, but that is in the past. He gets the call at Headingley, sadly in place of Hauritz but it was the right thing to do (I stand humbled and corrected), and kicked some serious English arse. He looked good, dammit.

Actually, all our bowlers kicked arse at Headingley so I would be loathe to change too much. We do need to remember the pitch at Headingley generally favours bowlers, so maybe tweak things a little. I think we might want a bit of spin at the Oval, but I am very biased here; if Brett Lee has a run out at Canterbury and is looking good, can they really not play him? The problem is who to drop.

Clarke did take the least of the wickets at Headingley, but he looked damn fine. Hilditch has told him that Johnson, Siddle and Hilfenhaus are ahead of him in the pecking order. What f**king pecking order? It's not about who has played the most or been around the longest, it's about who is playing best. Up until Headingley, Johnson has been shite. The crap batting made him look good last weekend. I thought Siddle was relatively ordinary up to Leeds as well, and I suspect the pitch and poor batting efforts helped him look better than he really is as well.

Clark deserves another chance. Lose Johnson and Siddle, play Hauritz and Lee. Hilfenhaus stays, that goes without saying. The only exception will be if Lee doesn't do so well at Canterbury, then Siddle should play. Johnson is yet to impress me.

Squads named for the ODI anf T20 matches

Australian ODI squad: Ricky Ponting (capt), Michael Clarke, Nathan Bracken, Callum Ferguson, Brad Haddin, Nathan Hauritz, Ben Hilfenhaus, James Hopes, Michael Hussey, Mitchell Johnson, Brett Lee, Tim Paine, Peter Siddle, Shane Watson, Cameron White.

Australian Twenty20 squad: Michael Clarke (capt), Brad Haddin, Callum Ferguson, Nathan Hauritz, Ben Hilfenhaus, David Hussey, Mitchell Johnson, Brett Lee, Dirk Nannes, Adam Voges, David Warner, Shane Watson, Cameron White

Note the lack of Ponting, Siddle and Bracken in the T20 side.

Can you say "getting desperate"?

After the embarrassing, and - may I say? - not a little bit humorous, arse-kicking of England team at Headingley it seems the ECB are rethinking their team selection for the final test at the Oval. Top of the list seems to be Mark Ramprakash, but the ECB should probably make their decision on him soon as he has a Saga holiday booked for that week.

Flintoff will apparently be fit again, but it is still ten days away - he is bound to walk to his front door and injure himself again by then so I wouldn't worry.

If I may be so bold, can I suggest Geoffrey Boycott's grandmother? Since, apparently, Nathan Hauritz couldn't bowl her out she should be perfect. He can bowl Strauss, Flintoff and many others besides but he coudn't bowl Boycott's grandmother if he tried :-) Just ask Geoffrey.

Blame it on the Fire ... alarm

So England played rubbish at Headingley, huh? Australia beat them with two days to spare. It's great, almost like having Sir Steven's (we are not worthy; we are not worthy) team back again. But why? They beat us at Lords, almost beat us at Edgbaston and managed the flukiest of flukey draws at Cardiff so they aren't a terrible side. In short, we know England are capable of beating us.

Well, I have the scoop ... it may be that their collective beauty sleep was interrupted. Rumour has it that at roughly 5am on the morning of the first day of the Headingley test (Friday 7th) the fire alarm in the England team's hotel went off and the boys had to stand out on the street, with all the other guests, for an hour or so while the issue was resolved.

Can't you just imagine them all on the pavement, in their matching cream pyjamas with anti-Mr Bingle symbols on them? And I bet little Andy wears fluffy bunny slippers :-)

For you any of you wondering, No I was not in Leeds at 5am on Friday morning - I didn't arrive until Saturday - but evidently there is an Aussie in Leeds somewhere that needs paying handsomely.

The Warnester and Me

It's official, Shane Warne and I are soul mates. I base this assumption on the fact that we are probably the only two people in either Britain or Australia at the moment, who are sore that Nathan Hauritz was left out of the 4th Ashes test.

The Warnester was quite miffed this morning with the announcement that walking-abortion-Siddle would retain his place while the team's only spinner would be left on the bench.

Now, I can totally understand why any of you would think that I am only sorry that I don't get to cop an eyeful of big Haurie all weekend, but you would be wrong. For I, too, am concerned that Australia - despite their fantastic start today - will rue the lack of a spinner at Headingley later in the weekend. In fact, I almost want Australia to lose this test just so the Warnester and me can be right and obnoxious together.

Almost.

...

I am also sorry that I won't get to cop an eyeful all weekend.

Mr Bingle for skipper!

So, we're at Headingley (AKA bowler's paradise) and we're not playing our only spinner ... Ponting you stupid, stupid man!

Wave goodbye to the little ashes urn, Aussies, because there it goes in Andy's hand.

... sigh ...

Flintoff Folly

Andrew Flintoff has had it, just deal with it already England. Your refusal to let him go just shows you are afraid he is all you've got ... and he probably is.

hehehe.

Dignity by the Shedload

Check out Kiki and Sassy's latest blog at the Cricket Australia website.


Kiki & Sassy


We [heart] Jason Gillespie.

Nathan Hauritz on Arsenal, the Simpsons and ... erm ... Michael Hussey??

In another of Channelbee's inane little “we want answers” videos, we get to hear a little about Nathan Hauritz:

Bruce Willis and lots of water will bring about the end of the world, the Simpsons is such a passion it would be his specialist subject on Mastermind and his favourite band is the Foo Fighters. Now that I can get on board with – I half expected the predictable Aussie nod to Kings of Leon, but it seems Mr Hauritz doesn't follow the rest of the team on that one. Nice to know he can think for himself.

I am a little concerned about the allegiance to his “soccer” team – Arsenal. Having spent time playing in the Lancashire leagues a couple of years ago, I would have thought he'd go for something in that direction. Frankly, I would have thought he'd have more taste.

Even more disturbing, however, is his choice of a person to spend an hour in the pub with: Michael Hussey. WTF??? You could choose anyone to go have a beer with, anyone at all and he chooses Michael Hussey? Really? Is it possible our Nathan didn't understand the question or does he indeed, as his Cricket Australia profile states, lack creativity?

I shouldn't mock, and here's why: If I could go to the pub with absolutely anyone I chose … I'd choose Nathan Hauritz.

And I'd have him supporting Liverpool by the end of the evening.

Thank you ICC

It doesn't happen very often, but every now and then the ICC comes through.


Link


Koertzen is out, Bowden is it.

Let the Aussies pull a draw? We'll destroy Edgbaston first!

Apparently, England fans in Birmingham were so worried about the heroic batting of Messers Clarke and North (but probably not the Huss, to be fair) that they decided to blow up Edgbaston!


Link


Nice try, suckers.

Leave our bowlers alone - Ponting is the weakest link

Despite the heavy criticism of Australia's bowling attack prior to the Ashes, I feel it is our Batsmen (and what is the deal with using the word "batter" all the time?) that have let us down this series - most notably Ponting himself. With the exception of the first test in Cardiff Ponting's batting has been decidedly ordinary, twice in this series we have found ourselves in a situation where we have needed our batsmen to stand up and make a difference and we have looked, as ever, towards our skipper to lead the way. Both times we have been let down miserably.

The status on his facebook page says today "all the batters did their job", but I would argue that this is untrue. Our experienced opener, Simon Katich, has twice now been shown up by the novice Shane Watson; Ponting has made a paltry number of runs and, although it was nice to see Hussey finally amass a decent pile at Birmingham it has been a long time coming. All the batters did NOT do their job - two middle order batsmen did the job of 6 men.

It's not just Ponting's batting that has let Australia down this summer - his field settings have been obvious (England batsmen know exactly where his bowlers are going to bowl) and he has insisted on sticking with a bowler who is clearly out of form while Stuart Clark, who proved himself at Northampton, continues to be ignored. I know Johnson has been hailed as our wunderkind, and it was nice to see some half decent bowling from him last weekend at Edgbaston, but in general he has been just plain awful. Ponting has bowling options; his refusal to take advantage of them betrays his supporters and his country. He needs to step down as captain as soon as this series is over.

Having said that, I do not approve of the Birmingham crowd booing his walk to the crease on Sunday. This is unacceptable behaviour and, quite rightly, has spurned a round of talks on BBC radio this morning. Whoever he plays for Ponting is one of the best batsmen in the world, not only currently but of all time and, however I feel about him as our captain, he deserves respect as a cricketer.

Mr Invisible?

A quote from Michael Atherton at Edgbaston, Sunday 2nd August:

“We've seen some good stuff from Australia today, notably the bowling of Hilfenhaus and Johnson; and some not so great stuff, such as the bowling of Siddle and Watson. Australia need to get to a place where all four bowlers are bowling well.”

All four bowlers? All FOUR bowlers??? Mr Atherton, you blind old shit, there were five bowlers out there yesterday - was Nathan Hauritz invisible? Apparently so. He's now only the third highest wicket taker in the series. Poor effort, Haurie! Shame on you.


NOTE: 15 minutes after this comment, Hauritz took Flintoff's wicket.

WARNE SLAMS UMPIRE RUDI - mirror.co.uk

It's true you eat a lot of pies, but we love you Warney:

WARNE SLAMS UMPIRE RUDI - mirror.co.uk

Shared via AddThis

Play due to start at 12

When I promised my wee boy we could watch a film this afternoon, I was displaying a complete lack of faith in the English weather. This has, of course, come back to bite me in the arse. So now, not only do I get to watch Australia trundle towards another embarrassing defeat, but my son will not be speaking to me when it's over.

Excellent.

Is that a haircut I see before me?

The freaky Welsh Hauritz-baby-having crowd on facebook, who clearly have nothing better to chat about, have informed me that Nathan has had himself a wee haircut. And they're right, here it is.

He is human after all. Who'd have thunk it?