to: chris.gayle@toughtalkfromalazyfucker.com
from: ricky.ponting@iambiggerthanbradmanandthebeatlesputtogether.com.au
Dear Chris,
It's true you're three times my height, but I ain't scared of you sucker. Not when I've got Bolly in front of me anyway. Being as you're the only batsman on your team (and you're a lazy fuck), did you really think you were going to beat us 4 - 1? We buried your batsmen for piss all, lost only 2 wickets reaching your total and then we still had time to pop to the pub for a couple of coldies.
I was going to write a long list of insults, but all I can really think to say is "eat that, sucker".
Oh, and, bring back Suley already - Hads is itching for a fight.
Ricky Legend Ponting
P.S. buy Kookaburra (I get an extra $1,000 if I write that).
8 thoughts on this post:
Trouble is, when they miss their big players, they don't have much to back it up. Chris knows it's up to him almost entirely and is probably just a bit depressed about it all.
Anyway, what a waste of bloody time. I really hope they turn up next game.
Last summer wasn't as depressing as this one. The Aussies are peacocking about on the pitch which is getting up my nose.
I want the Saffers to come over and kick our arse.
Actually, I agree. I'm bored - I want a game, dammit. Bring back Suley!
And you are playing the Kiwis after this, which you will also win.
I tell you the Aussies can't keep their game interesting for long. What if this is a buildup to an Ashes loss?
Don't kill me Sid.
If we play good cricket in the Ashes we'll win. All we have to do is exactly that, play good cricket, doesn't matter who it's against. Consistency and a team efforts vs individual standout efforts will ensure we regain that Urn.
As for this series, as soon as I knew Bravo, Sarwan, Chanderpaul Edwards and the whole gang were not fit I was a bit annoyed. Gayle has a lot that rests on him and the expectation becomes overwhelming I imagine.
You and your imaginative letters.
Ian, the emails are my favourite because I love making up stupid email addresses. hehehe
Losing to the Kiwis would make things quite interesting. Not losing the Ashes, though. That would kill me. Or I would kill Purna.
And starve some lions.
I think he was referring to how the Windies would start their batting innings in every game. I feel so sorry for Ottis.
Do those links work?
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