My name is John Howard. You might remember me as the little guy from Bennelong who made lots of noise in the Australian parliament in the 80s and early 90s. And then I was Prime Minister of that country for about 11 years, although everyone is still trying to work out why. Even me.
I would like to be president of the ICC. I think you should nominate me because:
- I coined the term "cricket tragic" (or claim to, anyway)
- I'm white.
- My middle name is Winston, which the English will love.
- I didn't make fun of Darrell Hair, as others did (Not publicly anyway. But that's the case for most people so you can ignore that).
- I called Murali on being a "chucker" that time, which I am allowed to do because he is not Australian. I stand by it as well ... they proved it in Perth that time with that thing ... at that place ... whatever it was ... that proves I'm a lovable rogue.
- I'll put those brown people in India and that country right next door right in their place ... we all want that right?
- There will be no more tours for brown people to white people countries, unless they agree to stay in an internment camp for 6 weeks on arrival.
- and I'll put a stop to this bollocks of women playing cricket. What's that all about? Women should be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, not playing sport!
- Ricky Ponting likes the idea ... he said it will be good for cricket to have some of my ilk in the position. What the hell's an ilk?
Jesus, Punter's a git sometimes. - I can't play cricket for shit; I have no background or even experience in sport administration and, in fact, I was a shit Prime Minister. I couldn't even keep my own seat let alone the top job.
Oh, go on.
Love and kisses,
John Howard
8 thoughts on this post:
The Bush Jr. of world cricket?
Well, he was the Bush Jnr of politics pretty much, so why not?
It's funny, it's really funny. I probably couldn't have thought of someone more inappropriate for the job. But he may be ok, after all that time in politics he must have learnt some humility at least.
He was famous for his stance against a multicultural Australia, which makes this seems all the more comedic and, as you say, inappropriate. Let's hope he has learnt some lessons over the years.
Hmmm... wondering how much I should resist the temptation to get political here. :) I actually think he might be ok... I mean really, the ICC has been more about politics than cricket for a very long time now, and he was good at that. Except at the end, when he wasn't.
ANyWay I was interested to see, Sid, that both yourself and Alan Tyers, Cricket Laureate, commented on Little Johnny and women's cricket. Alan's was bit longer than yours, but I was wondering if there is any specific basis for this? A comment in an interview? Or based on some of his political views?
I would also like to point out that it's not *exactly* like women's cricket gets a lot of airtime from, well, anyone. Alan Tyers had at least done a satire of the England women in his article before, albeit comparing them to the men, making me wonder if he knew who the women were...
So anyway Sid, feel free to diss Little Johnny, but perhaps if you do think its an issue you could comment a bit more on things like how the Kiwis just thrashed the Southern Stars at T20, upon which we turned around and thrashed them in the ODIs. I'm not sure what's up with those particular results but I think they're interesting. And Lisa Sthelaker (OK, I can't spell that either) took 5-for in her 100th game for Australia. And (I know some of you already know this) Sachin Tendulkar, bloody amazing double century, actually the second person to do it in first class ODI's, as neatly illustrated here.
PS did you like how I got you and Alan in the same sentence? :)
I'm impressed with Alan and myself in the same sentence, and I admit I didn't know he had also made comment about women's cricket.
I will admit - with shame - that I know very little about women's cricket, but based my Johnny comments on his policies, while PM, of maintaining the "traditional family". I admit I went for the cheap laugh (don't I always? You should be used to this!!), as he did tone down his anti-multicultural policies. Eventually.
Heh. Yes, I am used to it, but I like discussions. And women's cricket... glad to see Belinda got some airtime. :)
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