from: marcus.north@iwillsobeintheashesteam.com.au
Hey Stevie,
A few people might still be going on about you as my replacement, but once I get a century tomorrow they'll fuck you right off mate. There is no way I'm getting left off the Ashes side in favour of a little weed like you who is barely out of nappies. You might get picked, but you won't play (unless we've already won and I've worked so hard I need a rest).
Ritzy nearly breaking that messed up record might have given you some hope, but doubt it'll get you anywhere. Ritz is a whiny little thing but he's still a better bowler than you.
I tell you what - come back when you've sprouted a few pubic hairs and we'll see. Until then, piss off and let the big boys do their job or Ritzy and me will hide your favourite teddy bear. Alright?
Marcus, Lord of batsmen and Ashes hero 2011
*****
To Marcus,
Ooh, you used a naughty word! I'm tellling Ricky on you ...
Steve
3 thoughts on this post:
Me too! Corrupting the little ones. Bad Marcus!
Also, I don't want Stevie to be 30 before he plays for Ozland. Go for a holiday with your Lord or something Sid!
I suspect that Marcus North has Punter in his back pocket or someone near that region. Did anyone see how Punter jumped all over him like a school kid in the last match when Northie came off the field after his ton? One relieved captain there. Punter is used to going up to Marcus and asking his advice every chance he gets. North is like his blankie.
Purna, you are an evil genius! That is one hell of a plan ... I send someone in to knock off Mrs Lord; I disappear with My Lord to Barbados for a few weeks in November and it's sorted. Stevie gets a couple of tests without Marcus losing his place and My Lord is back for test number 3.
Lou, I think Punter has a lot of respect for the more experienced players esp those with captaining experience themselves. It's not a bad thing, I guess. And I do like the visuals that go with North as Punters blankie.
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