From: graeme.swann@iamagit.co.uk
Hey Nate, check it!
I took 10 wickets in this last test. I totally rule at cricket and I'm musically talented. Can't wait to come to Oz later this year ... will you even be on the Aussie team?
Gray
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To: graeme.swann@iamagit.co.uk
From: nathan.hauritz@kingofmyownbackyard.com.au
Hey Graeme,
10 wickets, eh? Against Bangladesh. What an achievement. I notice you couldn't manage it against South Africa. Or us. I may have only just got my first 5 for, but at least it was against a half decent team.
I will be on the Ashes side, mate. You don't think they'd go with that idiot Krejza, do you? I look forward to "accidently" hitting you with the ball.
Nathan
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To: nathan.hauritz@kingofmyownbackyard.com.au
From: graeme.swann@iamagit.co.uk
To Nate,
A half decent team? Pakistan? Mate, even they admitted they must be crap if they let you get 18 wickets against them. Just like we admitted we were quite crap (although not as publicly) in the Cardiff test after letting you get a handful of wickets there ... except that last one. Couldn't get that one, could ya?
Are you sure you'll be on the team? I'd watch out for Steve Smith if I were you.
Gray
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From: nathan.hauritz@kingofmyownbackyard.com.au
Cheers "Gray". I will not be worrying about Steve - if he gets picked, I plan on putting prune juice in his bottles and impregnating his nanny (and making sure Harris gets the blame for it - might as well kill two birds with one stone) to kill his chances of actually playing.
And if I hear your fucking guitar just once at the Gabba, I'll take it and ram it somewhere it will hurt a great deal and take several doctors to extract. Clearly, Andy and the others feel sorry you and tell you how good you are but I don't give a shit, mate - YOU HAVE NO TALENT.
Nathan
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From: graeme.swann@iamagit.co.uk
Aw, you're so sweet, Nate. I know you care, really.
Anyway, we've just won the test and I'm off to serenade the Bangladeshi team as a special treat on their loss. I tried to do the same for you guys at the Oval last year, but you always have Brett Lee working as a bouncer at your dressing room doors. He's scary as all shit, man. What will you do without him this time?
Well, the Bangladeshis don't mind. I wrote this song for them especially:
we're not as good
as we think we are
and your batsmen were better than expected
but eventually I
won the test for our team
As captain I think I should be elected
That's it, really. I'll just sing that over and over. I threw it together pretty quickly. You'd never know, though, would you? I know they'll appreciate the thought. Can't understand why none of my own team are coming to hear me play, though ...
See you in Brisbane (maybe).
Gray
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Graeme,
Fuck off.
Nathan
P.S. Loves ya xxx
7 thoughts on this post:
hahaha! dude, Nathan's a legend, and I like the email ids a lot! Great exchanges.
By the way, got an open thread running during the games today. Do join in if you're watching!
I will do. Heading over now.
Awesome! Got the new thread up for the CSK KKR game. GO CSK! Think the mongoose debuts?
Haha, that's a well thought out exchange between those two, culminating in an exciting finish :P
Great job Sid and lot of fun and spunk:)
Love these email posts of yours.
England are bloody lucky they have Swann or they may have been looking down the barrel against the Bangers.
The England bowlers didn't look as good as expected, did they? Expect Swann of course. How the hell did they win the Ashes, again?
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