- dealing with an irate little dwarf
- governance by complete fucktards like Andrew Hilditch
- morons writing stupid comments on their facebook and twitter pages, often with bad spelling and grammar
- the potential for a slapper girlfriend who can't keep her clothes on and causes rifts with your team mates
Sometimes, they even succeed.
It's quite appalling. I'd show photographs, but they are so upsetting even I can't bear to look at them.
The repurcussions of this are fairly obvious - pain, trophy cabinet starvation, mean journalists, Indian mirth - but the most heartbreaking of these effects are those on the Australian captain. He must put up with constant taunts on twitter and in the media, and worst of all his job is often in question.
He works harder than anyone else on the field; his mind must be in several places at once. Sometimes, this can mean he makes mistakes. Sometimes, this can mean his strike rate is lower than ever.
Michael Clarke is suffering and needs your help!
Just a few cents per day can pay a model to have sex with him; it can pay a few people to write nice things to him on Twitter and start "Michael Clarke for Captain!" groups on facebook OR it could buy a copy of the News of the World for him to keep him occupied until he hears what's happening with his job.*
PLEDGE YOUR SUPPORT TO THE ASPCC (Australian Society for the Protection of Clarke's Captaincy) TODAY!
email: givetheguyafuckingbreak@cricketaustralia.com.au
*Don't worry, if he does lose his job we will cancel all pledges and return any money donated. It's not our job to support the bludger, he can fuck off to Centrelink like everyone else.
9 thoughts on this post:
HA. First time I've laughed about cricket in days. :)
Where do I send my details, Sid??
i think Michael Clarke is a great captain and should keep his job. he's going through a rough patch right now, doesn't mean he's a bad player or captain. he's human and with that there are flaws, were not all perfect. he's not the first and wont be the last cricketer to go experience a poor run of form. i have no doubt he will be back to his old self in no time
i think you wrote this post as a direct answer to Ach's SOAL post!
did you?!
Ankit, no idea what you're talking about but give me a link because I'm curious.
Sharla, I totally agree. He made some mistakes, especially in the final, and there are genuine concerns about his strike rate but Clarke is a good captain and deserves more of a chance.
Welcome, by the way. Nice to have you here.
have a look
http://shortofalength.wordpress.com/2010/05/20/australias-captaincy-problems-and-the-obligatory-home-press-cover-up/
Thanks, Ankit. Interesting. Jarrod Kimber also wrote something about Clarke, stating he is the weak link in the Aussie T20 side.
I'm not saying he's not without problems, I just don't like the idea of finding a scapegoat just because we didn't win. That's the English way of dealing with a loss, not ours.
Sid and Sharla, I have 'issues' with people using the word 'form' when it comes to Michael Clarke's 20/20 batting.
If you have a strike rate of around a run a ball in this format and an almost complete inability to find the boundary IN GENERAL, it certainly ain't a problem with form.
It's the problem of a complete unsuitability to the format.
Considering how often we have seen him scratch around like an old hen in one day cricket, the use of the word 'form' is a bit of a smokescreen.
I don't understand the thinking behind Clarke's inclusion, there is no reason why he should be in this squad at all. He's a fine test cricketer, a good one day player, so why is it seemingly enforced that he needs to be in the slash and bash format? No-one expects North or Katich to play 20/20 for Oz (they'd be at least as much use and probably just as good at captaining) so what is CA playing at?
CA are determined he will be captain one day, regardless of how good he is, and they see T20 as the best way for him to start. To hell with his strike rate.
How long will it be before Ponting stands down as ODI captain, so that Pup can move into that role? It will be a shame, because I think Punter is a superb ODI captain, but CA will have its way.
Punter is also a superb one day batsman, can't say the same about Mr Nurdle.
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