My Wedding Vows

In light of yet another crap defeat, I thought you might all like to see the vows I made when I got married:

I, Sid, take thee, urn-stealing upstart team supporter, to be my lawful wedded husband;
to jeer at and make fun of in Australia's victory and England's defeat;

I vow to make you support Australia whenever they are not playing England
while I support England rarely, if ever (maybe if they are playing the stupid Kiwis, but only maybe);

I vow to ensure you accept that yours is the inferior cricketing side,
even though flukey one-day and test wins at Cardiff say otherwise,
while always understanding that sulking is acceptable in all cases of Australian loss;

I vow to reneg on my claim that 3 ODIs would have been enough only after England have won the first two, and you will allow me to do this without snide commentary;

I vow to make positive comments about one or two English players, on occasion,
while you will accept that the following are gods: Spofforth, Bradman, Lillee, Waugh, Warne and Gilchrist;

I vow to make you always commiserate with me when favourite players retire
until Ashes related divorce do us part.

And I have no doubt it will one day.