Cricket happens

I know it's hard to imagine, but just because the Australians are having a few weeks off that doesn't mean that the cricket world has come to a complete halt. Stuff has been happening, such as:

Murali reached his 800th test wicket, then pulled a rude finger sign at Shane Warne and promptly retired.

Pakistan moved on from beating Australia at Headingley to losing to England at Trent Bridge. The locals got a bit excited about what this might mean for the Ashes, until someone mentioned that other K word – the one we may invoke (kookaburra).

The second test at Brum, which is still going on as I write this, has been eventful – Pakistan were bowled out in their first innings for even less than they bowled out Australia (the K word, people, the K word).

Moyo reappeared, to the pleasure of many (including myself), but not in time to play.

Saeed Ajmal roared like a wee freak as he took 50 in Pakistan's operation pride salvation, and Zulqarnain Haider (on debut) joined him and took 80. Did anyone catch the interview at the end of day 3? You couldn't wipe the grin off his face ...

... which is interesting, since Barbie Broad's hormones hit overdrive during Haider's innings and, as a result, he nearly wore a cricket ball. I think he must have caused Barbie to break a nail. Bad, bad Haider.

Umar Gul and Mohammed Asif are currently attempting a last wicket stand to give Pakistan's impressive bowlers something to bowl at. Great for Pakistan, not so great for viewers because it means the commentators get to unimaginatively say “the tail wagged” a few more times.

India went to Sri Lanka and showed the world that their test bowling is a bit rough, which should make for an interesting series against Australia in October – shit bowling takes on shit batting. We should top them, though. We have Twatto.

John Buchanan, Australia's coach for a large chunk of their Ashes dominance years, annoyed me by signing on to help England prepare for the Ashes.

The world (for “world” read England and India) decided that Ponting will retire after this Ashes series, but forgot to mention it to Ponting himself.

Cricket Australia publicly stood by North and defended his place in the Aussie test side. They neglected to mention that it's because they can't think who would fill his spot.

I found this really nice article in a blog on the New Statesman magazine website, thereby admitting to the world that I read the New Statesman. I will now go hide in shame.

And, in a non-cricket part of the world, I overdid it in the swimming pool and had to take the day off work because I pulled a muscle in my hip and can't walk.

Joy.

And that's all from me for today, folks. I'm off to dose myself with painkiller.