Found, dusty and tangled with cobwebs, in a basement storage room of the Australian Medical Association's Sydney offices; discarded, forgotten for an estimated 40 years – this is the chapter of the Australian medical dictionary the AMA rejected: the chapter on cricket related conditions.
It was never finished, for it was callously deemed unnecessary before the full range of words was collated, but this is a taste of what might have been:
Abscondulatartus (v) – the act of deserting one's team mid-series in order to appease a woman esp. related to a captain or v. captain
Cardifulosis (n) – a condition, common in offspinners, characterised by the inability to take the final wicket on the final day of a test and thus forcing a draw
Matrinagapieness (adj) – of bowlers; to be caused by problems with one's mother to chuck pies when bowling very fucking fast is in order
Urnus Nullextractus (n) – a Latin term referring to a fairly uncommon condition in which one refuses to hand a little urn over to his opposing captain. Prevalent until the late 1980s in Australian captains but has suffered a resurgence in recent years
wickeptatitudousness (adj) – the act of one's wicket keeper taking attitude with an opposing side's batsman/men, or with the umpire, for no apparent reason. Usually perceived by the offender as an act of camaraderie or “mateship” and by everyone else as stupid and thuggish
Twatufaculoid (n) – a player known for making angry (yet humorous) faces when he doesn't get his own way; due to weather during upbringing and general arrogance, this is particularly common amongst short Tasmanian batsmen
Nychthumberoff (n) – a bowler who has had his thumbnail ripped off by catching a cricket ball esp. in an evening match
Gluckenrata (n) – from the German gluck=luck and the medieval Latin rata=rate, thus “one whose rating is lucky”; particularly relates unknown Queensland bowlers who explode unexpectedly onto the international scene. Such a “rating” has a tendency to be short-lived.
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