Michael Brown, Cricket Australia's General Manager of Cricket, sits around a table with his minions drinking coffee: "So, who do we want? Allan Donald or Craig McDermott?" he asks.
Random Minion: Well, Donald has done a good job for New Zealand. They say he has a way of working with the bowlers psychologically as well as technically and physically. I like that.
Another Random Minion: Working with them psychologically? You mean, the way they think ... how will that help us? Mitchell doesn't think.
ARM: The Kiwis want to keep him.
ARM: pfffftt - the Kiwis. What do they know?
Michael Brown: It would be fun to keep him just to annoy them, though. Let's ponder on it as long as possible to make them sweat, just for a giggle.
ARM: Donald has a good bowling record, that has to be a good thing.
ARM: But he's not Australian. We don't do foreigners on our coaching staff.
ARM: Donald took more test wickets than McDermott and at a better average, plus he has good coaching experience.
ARM: But he's a South African and you know how Mitchell struggles to understand accents other than his own. We'd have to use flash cards for a while.
ARM: He's only coached rubbish teams, like England and Zimbabwe. And he's not Australian.
MB: You're right. He's not Australian. Nothing else matters. Let's appoint McDermott as bowling coach. Now, our batting coach?
ARM: Langer.
ARM: Langer.
ARM: Langer.
ARM: Langer.
MB: Well, he is Australian. Let's keep him. Next? Andrew Hilditch ...?
Stay tuned for the next exciting episode of Cricket Australia does fuck all to see how Mr Hilditch fares. Can you guess what will happen?
1 thoughts on this post:
Really, you can only laugh.
I think they will wait for another year, then get rid of Nielsen, Punter will retire and become batting coach and Justin 'mindless optimism' Langer will become the head honcho.
It is so obviously jobs for the boys.
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